How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

What's under the first mate? The second mate.

A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

hi

Why is six afraid of seven. Because seven is a rapist.

Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

What is red and bad for your teeth? A BRICK!!

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penis

What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

Romeny or Obama? Obamney

Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

What are the two things that the little boy with cancer wants for Christmas? He wants his cancer to go away. He also wants the new Halo game.

how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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