Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. wait wut are u a bitch Violet are not freakin blue its Purple

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

Penis-biter

A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

Get on your knees Ho

what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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