Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

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Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops