What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

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Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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