What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Fat people.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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