Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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I'm hungry.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Women's Rights.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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So you there Red?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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