I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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America

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Men's Rights

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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