What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

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Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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