Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

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Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

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Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Solze

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

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So, these two antennas were getting married. The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible!

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I am a nigger.

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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