You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

destiny

How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

Queens Park rangers

So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

What was big and stiff A 30cm ruler

What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

Elizabeth Warren

How do you save a black man from drowning? I don't know GOOD!

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

a pornstar comes early to a party

Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

Netflix and chill

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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