whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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lipstick pig

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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