whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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I like colin but not as much as apple

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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