Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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http://richardfigures.com/

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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