what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +8

josh roberts got the d in geog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There's a god, just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops