Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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These Jokes suck.

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Why cant you see black people when you are playing hide and seek? Because they are in a very good hiding spot

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I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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