The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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i am and me is i

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

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Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

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If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops