Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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The Game

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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21

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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