What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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Womens rights

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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i have to pee out my ass.

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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Hitler Call of Duty Score Kills: 6 million Jews Deaths: 1

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

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A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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