Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

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Bean.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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Why did the black guy eat KFC? Cause he was hungry.

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What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

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A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops