never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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i was gunna write a joke..but i took an arrow to me knee.

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Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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