The Detroit Lions

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Why did the blonde switch the lamp on? Because it was getting dark

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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Confucius say: Man who fart in church probably has a medical condition and should not be made fun of because that is cruel.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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what do you call someone who hates jews anti semitic

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Do you know what color comes after 9?

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Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops