What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

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Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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0 + 0 = 0

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

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What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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whats long and green? weed

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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