Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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lybia

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Brad Fuller!

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What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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A white person at Harvard

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(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops