Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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Mormons having fun.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

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A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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You're*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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