What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

Black People.

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

E= McVagina

There's my tractor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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