When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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