If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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