Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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how do you start a stamped in mexico roll a nickle down the street sad thing is you just lost a nickle

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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