Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Okay, one second.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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A midget walks under a bar

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Justin's humor

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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