Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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how do u kill a black kid ..... stabb him in the face with a nife

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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The person below me is weird.

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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