Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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The person below me is weird.

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

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What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

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Why is a chicken coupe, a coupe not a sedan? Because a sedan would have four doors.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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