A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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general tso's broccoli

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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joke

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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