A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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Womens Rights

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*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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