A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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