Yo mama is so fat!

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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