So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

69

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -91

What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

thumb_up thumb_down -135

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -163

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Mexicans are like waffles

thumb_up thumb_down +44

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops