What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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one day i went to bed

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

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Your mom.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Chad Wolbert is retarded.

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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