- Anti Joke

A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

GONNA

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

My name is Harry.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

No.

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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