knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i have two hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many people live in China? At least ten.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What comes after 23? 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops