Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Penis

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Thumbs this down

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Two english guys meet at work

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops