You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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a man is running away

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A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Idk

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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TOBUSCUS

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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What's worse than a Wasp at a picnic? Two wasps at a picnic. What's worse than two wasps at a picnic? A serial rapist. What's worse that a serial rapist? Three wasps at a picnic.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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