sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops