What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

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(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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