Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to my sunglasses?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops