Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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hear hear

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Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops