How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Knock, Knock ...

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your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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Knock knock -Who's there? Orange -I don't get it.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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poopoo

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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