A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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