- Anti Joke

What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: Thunder Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

What's the point of going to college? There is none.

What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

LET

Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

This is my favorite antijoke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops