Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

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this is not a joke. jks

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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