Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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