what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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knock knock

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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