A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Roses re red Violets are black You'd look better with a knife in your back

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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Penis.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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