Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

How did the mexican get into the United States of America? Legally.

What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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